Big Birthday to Celebrate & Then Some: SOLSC #17

Yesterday was an absolutely gorgeous day to take a ride up the NYS Thursday and keep going on Route 17 to Wurstboro and then on to Ellenville for an annual celebration with my dad and family. St. Patrick’s without a parade and wild drinking has always be our day to buy a birthday card in green for my dad.

91 yesterday and my dad, presented with two canes from my brothers got a shirt, a light jacket and a bag of candy from me and Tuvia, and a table filled with family to celebrate another year and he was beaming the whole day and into the evening when I called from home.

And that should have been enough for one day…

but on the way up to bask in good wishes,  I had to make another kind of visit.  One of my best friends has been battling stage 4 lung cancer and this week during her weekly checkup at Sloan Kettering,  she got the news that her cancer has spread everywhere.  I hoped to see her just for a hug but instead sat with her daughter and son-in-law.  There was nothing to say of course.

I’ve been living in a fool’s paradise of  sorts.  For most of my life I have not had to face loss but in the last year that’s all changed.

The silence that comes with loss that’s new for me,

and good thing the sun was shining for the trip back home.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: | 13 Comments

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13 thoughts on “Big Birthday to Celebrate & Then Some: SOLSC #17

  1. What a bittersweet day My heart goes out to you. Robert Frost said “No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.” Your writing brought a tear to my eye today.

  2. wkb57

    You certainly lived the extremes of what we call life today. I felt the celebration for your dad and the agony or your friend.

  3. Oh, Bonnie…even the midst of great joy there is suffering somewhere. You did have a day of seeing both, and anything I could say would sound like yet another cliche. But your dad looked so joyous to have his family about him, how lucky you all are in that.

  4. crazy!

  5. The photo of your dad shows off your words “beaming the whole day and into the evening”. I’m glad you had such a celebration. Life is often so very sweet. And then your visit to your friend’s. How wonderful it is that you were able to take time for her children. It must not have been easy, but comfort is all that is needed this time. I’m sorry for you too Bonnie. It’s hard to be there for others when you are grieving too. My wishes go to you!

  6. My dad is also 91 and has become caretaker for my mom who is only 80. Never thought it would turn out this way. (She has professional caretakers too). It is so good to see others with similar life experiences.

  7. I especially enjoyed the photo to go with your post. The words just added to the joy, laughter, and fun that the picture conveys. When so many families are splintered, and we’re living so far from each other, it’s great to see a family coming together in celebration. Enjoy each moment with those you love.

  8. I’m glad you had the birthday celebration to balance out the hard news about your friend. We have to keep remembering to find the joy through all the sadness. I hope you don’t have to keep facing losses. It’s so tough. Stay strong!

  9. Jama

    How wise you are to know to just be there. You are a wordsmith, but you know when to be quiet. That is precious. God bless you and your friend’s family as you travel a difficult road.

  10. Lisa

    Sharing the best and the worst…that’s what friends and family are all about!

  11. The joyful and the painful. What a day you had.

    Happy birthday to your Dad!

    In terms of your friend, there was a great piece in the Sunday Times a few months back about what to say and what not to say to a person battling an illness like cancer. It’s worth checking out if you never read it (I’m pretty sure Nancy C. linked to it on FB). I know the author’s suggestions helped me a few times since I read it.

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