Healing, Drying?:Conversations with Eileen Day 9

Morning Friend,

Yesterday was a good one.  There was time to get back to the gym and sweat, time to talk plays and take away images, time for lunch with Joy, time and energy to pick up my guitar and play, time for American Idol,  just not enough time to talk with Tuvia, but today should be better for that.

It was a day with sunshine and a bit of wind that felt right for early April.  It kept me from walking.

Funny, but I have no guilt about making time to just sit on my couch, actually, I love it.  Maybe you might worry if that’s all I was doing but no,  I have been moving, just not out-of-control activity.

It’s funny about loss.  Who really needs to know?  Who needs to know more?  I do seem to share it carefully, just to put a marker out on what’s going on with me when someone notices that I’m not myself.  I wonder, at what point does it start to get old,  when someone looks at you as thinks, time to get over it. I wonder.

I think that I’m still just going through the motions because it’s too soon to really feel your loss.

I don’t seem to have a story to share, a connected memory like yesterday.  That post was so big that it took me two sittings to get it out.  Today, I’m struggling.  But just the act of thinking and writing is spectacular.  It’s so wonderful to be using this muscle again as I begin each day and yes, it’s good to be thinking about you.

I wonder what Andy’s doing for Passover?


Categories: Conversations with Eileen | Tags: | 6 Comments

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6 thoughts on “Healing, Drying?:Conversations with Eileen Day 9

  1. Andy Weil

    Im going to jenny’s.Write on! Bon

  2. I’m not sure it ever gets old, but that depends solely on to whom one is talking. My mother died a long while ago, but a friend of mine plus my brother still talk about her and she remains a constant in our lives, as I imagine a wonderful friend will. And it does appear occasionally with others who know how much I missed her in those nearer days of her passing. Thank you Bonnie for your thoughts; I like hearing what you are questioning too.

  3. It is so difficult when you feel different inside but yet you look the same to everyone. Take your time Bonnie to allow your inner self to come to grips with this loss. It was so quick. Yes, time has a way of healing parts of you, but it is never the same.

    • So right Elsie,
      It all feels so fresh. so abrupt. I find that I’m having crazy dreams and I’m easily exhausted in the afternoon.

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