Seems like I needed a few days without a conversation. Would you believe it, I ran out of words, ideas, ways into a fresh conversation. But I hate to stay away and even though I wasn’t here, I was thinking about you especially on Sunday when I was with my mom filling her with bagels and white fish salad and then driving her and my dad up Briggs Highway so she could share the same story at least 5 times about how when she couldn’t bear another summer at my grandfather’s bungalow colony, we let her go home alone. We did! There was no way we wanted to be back home for the summer and it was a good thing that she came back in the morning, before we had to deal with her action seriously. So on this trip up the highway where there are no more hotels or bungalow colonies left, we rode on a beautiful Sunday afternoon: my mom and her dog next to me, Tuvia riding behind with my dad.
It was a good day for us.
I thought about Jenny and Andy and Kevin, and what it was like for them to honor the day without you.
Slowly it seems like I’ve been coming back to myself since your passing. I feel better physically; sleeping more helps. I’ve been exercising more, watching what I eat, working on a new digital piece, spending time in schools and smiling a bit more, but then maybe it’s a bit easier for me.
Tuvia is happy to have more of me back.
By the way, I’m confessing something:
On the way to the funeral, I took a short cut to the Thruway entrance as was my custom. But because I was distracted, I didn’t see the cop lying in wait for me in the parking lot of the West gate Motel. There’s an illegal left turn that many of us make rather than remain on the road to make the legal left at the light ahead. It’s so much faster to just cut down on two lefts and race through a gas station parking lot.
Ugh. Ticket! After confession and consultation with lawyer Jeff, I sent in my ticket, declaring a NOT GUILTY plea to escape points on my license. That was March 25th. It’s May 15th. No response. After a few calls to get to the right secretary I was told that yes, I was in the system but it would be months before I was called in, MONTHS! Well one good thing: I will not be stopped and cuffed for failing to follow directions.
Don’t feel any guilt. All my dumb fault. Of course, now that I’ve been caught I have stopped turning into the gas station and I am so jealous of the drivers who still take the risk.
Rain and humidity for another day. Good for my new flowers planted by a very determined Tuvia, who is still sleeping. Good thing, he has a full day of work.
Me, on my couch working toward another draft. Getting closer to the final version.
Miss you lady,